he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize