He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
