He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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