eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize