Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
