The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
