I can tuck mytits in my pants
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
3pm strippers are depressing
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
They took my balls.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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