just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
