He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
