Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
