I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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