you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
