new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize