What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am mentally ready for anal.
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