Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
