Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
