IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
