woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
