just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
