This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
These tits shall not be calmed
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
