Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
