This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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