Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
