I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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