Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
