lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
