found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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