dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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