Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
