He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
