I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
