This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
