I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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