dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
