Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.

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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.

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(226): View more from Ontario

Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.

(1-226): View more from Ontario

I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up

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