Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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