we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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