He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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