I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
