tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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