no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
