his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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