I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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