haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
