why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
