even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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