he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
