im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
