You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
