I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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