Christians are straight up FREAKS
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize