Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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