I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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