Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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