I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am one with the molecules
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
