i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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