The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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